Hartwig HKD via Compfight
I spent time today with two clients on the verge of making big changes they’d been dreaming about.
We talked a lot about getting started, taking action, movement, and the hundreds of small details needed to make a big change. Most of all, though, we talked about fear.
As is often the case, when we looked at what could be done there were an armful of small actions within their grasp but still not done. And when we looked harder, what lay underneath the lack of action was fear.
Fear is the unspoken. Like the Uncle with bad breath or the Aunty who chews with her mouth open, fear is your awkward relative. The one you wish would go away. The one embarrassing you in the middle of something, shouting and waving on the edge of your awareness crying ‘Stop’, ‘Stop’.
And what you are waiting for is it to go away. You’re waiting for the day when you have enough of (something) that you don’t feel fear anymore. You’re waiting for that moment before you act.
And you’ve got it the wrong way round.
That moment isn’t coming. The fear fades after you move not before. You have to jump first.
Standing at the top of the cliff, before you jump, you are asking ‘What if…?’ questions:
- What if it doesn’t work?
- What if I get it wrong?
- What if they turn me down?
- What if I lose some money?
These are fear questions and they will leave you stuck.
Once you jump, you ask different questions, problem solving questions…
- How can I make it work?
- How can I get it right?
- How can I find new clients?
- How can I make some money?
All the while you stay in your head, scaring yourself, you will stop moving.
The only way to get what you want is to do it. You can’t think your way to what you want. You have to move your way to what you want.
When you feel scared the natural reaction is to hit the brake. What you actually need is to step on the gas.
Learn how:
