Is the future stopping you knowing what you want?

Are you looking the wrong way?

All his life he has looked away, to the future, to the horizon – never his mind on where he was, what he was doing…(Obi-Wan Kenobi on Luke Skywalker)

I wonder, is this you?

One thing I’ve noticed in myself and in those who feel a bit lost about what they want is that we spend a lot of time in a fantasy future. Always imagining how things will be different when we are lighter, richer and with nicer friends.

It’s nice to spend time in the future and there’s a lot to be said for using your imagination to prepare yourself for change except that isn’t what’s happening here.

What’s happening is that devoting mental energy to an imagined possible future is leaving you stuck right where you are.

Why?

First, it creates an unhealthy and demotivating comparison with your current life. Personally I don’t find it inspiring to compare myself with nicer, richer, thinner people. It just depresses me and leaves me to conclude that such things are not within my reach. The clue here is to notice what you are doing. If these comparisons lead you to make real change today then it’s useful. If not, then it’s a destructive fantasy.
And, it takes your eye away from where it should be. Getting what you really want is no harder than making a different choice in the next 10 min. Sometimes though this is the hardest thing in the world. Looking away to the future, to a time when things will be just how you want them, makes this harder still.

Have you noticed that no matter how old you get this fantasy time, when your life will be the way you want it, is still just as far away as it was 3 years ago?

Imagine instead Obi-Wan had said this about you…

All his life he made the next 10 min count, never worrying about the future. Taking care of it by taking care of the present. Getting what he wanted in small steps.

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